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Thursday, May 31, 2012

Dear Future Husband,
i don't want to be you girlfriend. i just want to be the one you call your wife. your presence will give me happiness. you'll be my halal prince charming. riding your horse of taqwa. holdong onto the Quran in your right hand and the Sunnah in your left. i hear you're worth the wait, so i'll wait InsyaAllah. my heart belong to no one. i just thought i should let you know. it belongs to Allah S.W.T and only Allah. You'll have to get lost in Allah to find me and even then you'll still have to rightfully become apart of my heart. only through Allah. what i'm trying to say is that WE have to get lost in Allah to find each other. i hope you're up for the journey... i know i am..

i hate the feeling when i know i'm going to cry. my lips quiver, my heart pounds, my eyes sting. my face clenches up and then the tears start to fall.. i can't stop then, no matter how hard i try. and it's not little tears that slide down my cheeks, it's a big tears that make my eyes red and puffy, my face tear-stained and my body heave. can't stop the tears, and as i lie on my bed alone, i think of what could i have possibly done to stop the pain. stop the suffering. STOP THIS, STOP WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH. but there's nothing i can do, nothing anyone can say. it's the kind of tears and pain that need to be cried out, not talked out. and i know that i'm hurting people i love, but i can't help it. and sometimes i just don't care...

ya Allah, save me and guide me.... 

Lots Of Love

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